Deliberate Family Culture

How would you define your family culture? How would your kids define it?

Whether we are aware of it or not--and whether we are intentional about it or not--we are creating a culture in our family by how we spend our time and our money and by what we value.

Have you ever heard the expression, “More is caught than taught?” Our family culture is comprised mainly of the stuff that will be caught. 

For many families, the things that ultimately define a childhood evolve without much thought or planning. And sadly, in our overworked, over-scheduled society, a lack of forethought is allowing many family cultures to be shaped by electronic screens.

Parents are tired, kids are tired, and everyone is zoning out in front of the computer or television, Wii or iPod. According to a recent Kaiser study, kids are spending, on average, nearly 55 hours a week in front of electronic devices.¹

But with prayer, and a little discussion and planning, families can transform their time together and deliberately create a culture that will impact future generations. God thinks generationally, and He wants His people to realize that what we create today will impact our children’s children.

"Tell your sons about it, and let your sons tell their sons, and their sons the next generation” (Joel 1:3, NASB)

As you eat together or talk in a family meeting, pray and ask God to show you His plans for your unique family. Just as He created each of us individually with a purpose, He has a purpose and plan for our families. Examine the interests and talents of the members of your family, and talk about how you can spend evenings and weekends investing in those things.

Your family may be artistic or love the outdoors; you may be great cooks or love to travel. However God has created you, become intentional about spending your time and resources to invest in your family culture.

As believers, regardless of our unique characteristics, we should also be intentional about making our faith the cornerstone of our culture.

We can play Christian music in our homes throughout the day, incorporate a daily time of family devotions, make fellowship and service at our church and in our community a priority and make prayer the first step in every situation.

When we are stressed or worried, letting our kids see and hear us call out to God sends them a powerful message about what we believe and value.

When something great happens and our first thought is to praise God for His favor and provision, we show our kids that God is the giver of all good gifts.

When our children are not feeling well and we pray for healing, we remind them that we serve the Great Physician.

When they see us studying God’s Word, memorizing scripture and speaking the Word over situations in our life, we demonstrate that the Bible is the living Word of God and has the power to bring salvation, deliverance, restoration, healing and freedom.

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45, NASB).

A hallmark of a Christian family’s culture should be service to others. We model the life of Christ for our children when we when deliberately schedule time as a family to serve people.

We can make meals for new moms or the sick or the elderly. We can mow lawns and help with minor house repairs for widows, single moms and seniors. We can serve food to the hungry, help build homes with Habitat for Humanity or help maintain our local parks.

As you meet with your family to talk about creating a culture, think about your talents and interests and how God can use them to bless others. Then make a plan to build it into your regular weekly schedule.

As families, we can all be salt and light to the world.

Tell us about your family culture…

¹The Daily Green, “Kids Spend Nearly 55 Hours Watching TV, Texting, Playing Video Games…”, January 20, 2010 <http://www.thedailygreen.com/environmental-news/latest/kids-television-47102701>