God Cares About Football

As a new school year approaches, families are planning extra curricular activities. Some are laser focused, weighing all of their options and talking openly with their children and spouses. Others take the roulette approach--spin the wheel and whatever happens, happens. And some stick with tradition; they just keep doing the same things again and again, thinking, Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

The choices we make will either further God’s plan for our kids’ lives or hinder it. God cares about whether or not our kids play football, and He wants us to commit those choices to His purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 says that God knows the plans He has for us (and our kids). And when we seek His direction, He promises to guide our steps (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Middle-schoolers

Middle school is the season for kid’s to discover their talents and hopefully spark a passion. Sadly, many middle school kids choose activities based on what their friends are doing. As their parents, we need to counsel them wisely, and when necessary, make choices for them that we believe will best serve their futures.

When sitting down with middle school kids, walk them through a series of questions to help them discover which activities are best:

•     Why do you want to participate in this activity?
•        Do you know anyone else who is doing it this year?
•       Have you researched it? What are the challenges? What are the rewards?
•     How much time is required?
•      What is the cost for the year?
•      Are there opportunities to advance and grow in the activity?
•       What do you hope to gain from it this year?

Chances are, if your child can’t answer many of these questions, he or she is not motivated by genuine interest. On the other hand, if your kid gets fired up during this discussion, he or she will benefit from the experience even if it doesn’t stick as a long-term activity.

High-schoolers

By the time your teen reaches high school, you should have a good understanding of his or her true interests and talents. If that’s not the case, seek God earnestly with your son or daughter and ask the Father to reveal His plans. With just four years of final preparation before college or work, this is not the time for guessing games.

As your teen is planning the year’s activities, ask a lot of questions. He or she will need to make his or her own choices, but you should have final veto power.

• How does this activity fit into your high school plan?
• What skills and experiences will it offer that will help you after high school?
• What relationships will you form that can help in the college or job search?
• Does it offer scholarship opportunities?
• Can you progress and grow in this activity, achieving higher levels of success?
• Does it relate to the things you are most passionate about?

To Quit or Not To Quit

So what happens if you carefully plan, seeking God and interviewing your kids thoroughly, but after a few weeks, they decide it’s not for them? Do you let them quit or make them stick it out?

It all depends.

First, what’s the root of the dissatisfaction? Musical instruments, for example, are not a whole lot of fun at first. Kids go into lessons wanting to be an instant rock star but are quickly disillusioned by the discomfort of practice sessions. When they don’t see immediate results, they get frustrated and want to quit.

If that’s the case, stand your ground and set a minimum time frame--at least six months to a year. It takes that long to see any kind of success.

If the problem is social, and your child doesn’t think he or she fits in, remind him or her of the reason for trying the activity in the first place. Talk to the facilitators to see if they can team your child up with another kid, and if all else fails, set a minimum time frame (maybe one semester). That teaches commitment and gives your child a chance to see if he or she can overcome the struggle. Maybe he or she can recruit another friend to join him or her the following semester.

Our 12-year-old daughter began opera two years ago. The first semester was boring, and she wanted to quit. None of her friends were involved in the program, and the practices were long and tedious. But we knew that she was passionate about singing, and this was a great opportunity to train her voice and give her theater experience. We told her she had to stay for the entire year and make the best of it.

The second semester she had the chance to perform in a main stage production. The costumes and stage design were inspiring, and performing for a live audience in a professional theater was more thrilling than she ever imagined. That year she recruited her two best friends, which made it even better, and now quite of few of her friends have joined the program. After four semesters of performing with the company, she’s earned a little seniority and realizes that if she sticks it out through high school she stands a good chance of landing lead roles.

If your high-schooler struggles to commit to something, you may want to insist he or she stay (especially if you suspect his or her reasons for wanting to leave are purely social), but if he or she realizes early on that the activity is not what he or she expected and there may be other things that better fit his or her interests and talents, don’t hesitate to make the switch. High school is not the time to experiment.

The counsel we provide our kids about extra curricular activities teaches them the importance of stewarding their time. After all, we are not our own; we were bought with a price. And our kids are not our own either; they belong to God. He has entrusted us to train them with excellence—even when it comes to choosing between football and fencing.