Show Me Your Friends, and I’ll Tell You Who You Are

What do your friends reveal about your character and your interests? My grandmother always said, “Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.” She’s right.

If you met my friend Anne, you’d know I have an artsy, creative side. If you met Randy, you’d see I’m gregarious and strong-willed and fascinated by the nuances of human behavior. Both would reveal that I strive to be authentic. If you met Jody, my business partner and co-author of a book (still in process), you’d know that I aim for a high level of professionalism but that strong relationships and having fun are equally important.

So what do your friends reveal about you? And more to the point, what do your teens’ friends reveal about them?

Last month we talked about using social media to help your kids understand the image they are portraying to the world. We can use those same tools to help our kids evaluate the identity they are forming by the friends they choose.

Proverbs 13:20 tells us that if you walk with the wise, you become wise. But it goes on to say that if you walk with fools you--what? Become fools? No. It says you suffer harm. The King James says those who walk with fools will be destroyed. Yikes!

Here’s a great family Bible study. Read one chapter of Proverbs a day for a month (there are 31 chapters), and ask your kids to notice everything it says about a fool. By the end of the month, they’ll have a pretty sensitive fool radar.

Just to be clear, we’re not talking about being critical or judgmental, and we’re not talking about gossiping and slandering your teen’s friends.  We’re talking about a careful, biblical discernment of character. Let’s teach our kids to love their neighbor and to honor their peers, but to choose their inner circle wisely.

Read 1 Samuel 18-20 with your kids and ask them to evaluate the friendship between David and Jonathan. What words would they use to describe this relationship?

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 shows that God wants us to have friends. Ask your teens what these verses say about true friendship.

Proverbs 27:17 says that friends should sharpen each other, like iron sharpens iron. Do your teen’s closest friends make her stronger, wiser, more creative, more compassionate?

And in light of all she’s learned, what kind of friend is she?